Why Recognizing When You’re Wrong Is a Powerful Skill

When you get comfortable with being wrong, you start to get more right.

When you get comfortable with being wrong, you start to get more right. What’s right and what’s wrong is not so clearly defined. We have things that are agreed upon as wrong such as racism, stealing, and pollution, but what about more complex issues?

“There is no shame in not getting something right the first time.”

Sometimes to my detriment I doubt myself, but I’ve reframed that. Instead of calling it doubt, which has a negative connotation, I instead call it rethinking. There is no shame in not getting something right the first time. Where the problem lies is when you refuse to change. Something I always ask myself when there is a disagreement is “What if I’m wrong?” What if my words were a bit harsh? What if I didn’t know the scope of the issue? What if I wasn’t properly educated? These are just a few examples of how I think so that I can understand the other person more.

There are a few reasons why adopting this mindset can be beneficial, and one detriment comes to mind.

Rethinking helps you understand the other person more. When you try to think about how they think, taking into account their feelings, background, and beliefs, you become way more empathetic. Striving for mutual understanding is such a positive thing that the world could do more with. When you really open up your mind to other people’s circumstances, you are one step closer to compromising so that everyone is happy. I was working my retail job one day when a customer came to me and my coworker upset about a non-returnable item. The item in question was ink for a printer. Most items are returnable but this one in particular was not. The customer was angry because he felt as if we should have a sign somewhere saying that ink was not returnable. I was of course polite but in my mind I was defensive, thinking he could look up the return policy online or that he could have asked at checkout. We politely sent him over to customer service, but I thought to myself, what if we’re wrong? It helped me get into the customer’s mindset. He had a good point. When someone’s shopping they’re not gonna know each non-returnable item, especially when most things can be returned. It’s just not at the forefront of a customer’s mind. I changed my perspective after that. I think it was wrong on our part for not having a sign or something to show that the item was non-returnable.

Rethinking helps strengthen your own points. It helps you refute other’s ideas and make counter-claims. If you can think like the other person, then you can more easily argue against them. If I’m at a point where I cannot find anything right in someone’s statements, that’s when I feel that I can make an argument. The key is to try and relate to the other person, ask for outside opinions, and then construct you rebuttal if you feel that they are still missing the mark.

“Rethinking helps you learn new things about yourself and the world around you.”

Rethinking brings up ideas that were not known to both parties. Asking yourself if you’re wrong opens up that gate to research and gathering other people’s opinions. Consider this: you’re having an unpleasant conversation at the Thanksgiving dinner table about why you’re still single. Your nosy parents say they want grandchildren and that you don’t get out enough to meet people. You of course get defensive and disagree stating that you go to work five days a week, go to a book club, and… wait a second. Is that it? Is your only social interaction your job and book club? You go home and think about if you’re wrong, and then you realize that you don’t have a good work-life balance in that work is taking up too much of your life. You didn’t know that before and neither did your nosy parents. So you make the decision to work on a healthy balance of work and life. I apologize for the very silly example but hopefully you get the point: rethinking helps you learn new things about yourself and the world around you.

With this mindset however, can come self-doubt. Self doubt is more about uncertainty in one’s own abilities while rethinking is more of re-analyzing the information given and making an argument against yourself so that you can understand others. It’s important to keep that in mind so that you don’t live with doubting yourself.

Next time you have a disagreement, after it’s over think this: What if I’m wrong? What if they had a good point? And try to be as compassionate and loving as possible.